Overcoming My Parent’s Divorce and Becoming an Orphan at 10 Years Old

With Esther Fleece Allen, Christian speaker, and best-selling author

The Language of Lament

Do you ever wonder if God gets tired of hearing your cries? Whether you experience joy or sorrow, God remains close, offering comfort and love every step of the way. He listens to your gratitude and cries of distress, confusion, anger, and fear.

In this episode of Relentless Hope, Esther Fleece Allen shares about her traumatic childhood and how she vowed to be strong and never reveal her emotions. Let’s see how she learned to turn to God in her pain.

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Words of Hope:

“The Christian life is not a constant high. I have my moments of deep discouragement. I have to go to God in prayer with tears in my eyes, and say, ‘O God, forgive me,’ or ‘Help me.’”

― Billy Graham

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LIFE

In part 1 of Relentless Hope, Esther is vulnerable about her childhood trauma, including having to testify in court during her parents’ divorce and later becoming an orphan. She identifies some unhealthy coping mechanisms: faking it to appear strong, minimizing what she’s gone through, avoiding vulnerability, repressing the past, and believing that emotions are a weakness. However, in Scripture, we know God is an emotional being. He invites us to go to Him with everything in prayer. Doing so brings freedom and comfort from God that we don’t find anywhere else.

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LEADERSHIP

In part 2 of this series, Esther challenges us to become leaders who can accept good and bad days in our lives and those we lead. She reminds us that God doesn’t expect us to be perfect, and the Bible shows us the messiness of human emotions and anguish. We should lead out of humbleness and be teachable, allowing for seasons of hardship for ourselves and others. Desert seasons are times when we are still before God—where He molds us into the leaders He wants us to be. We learn to mourn and empathize with others’ struggles during these seasons.

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LEGACY

In part 3 of the podcast, Esther shares that she strives to leave a legacy by being present for others. She desires to show people God’s love and salvation, understanding that she may need to go outside her comfort zone to do this. Esther’s life was changed when a family offered help without even knowing her needs—they saw her situation and chose to act out of faith. They taught her the importance of providing comfort and hospitality, which she now does in her home. We can all follow Christ’s example by paying attention to those around us, listening carefully, and responding with faith that God will guide us.

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Scripture to reflect on: 

“Hear my prayer, O Lord, and let my cry come unto thee.”

– Psalm 102:1

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Closing prayer for Gerard’s story:

Dear Lord, how long will my heart be overwhelmed by this heavy burden? How long must I suffer, feel alone and confused? Oh, Lord, please hear my prayer. Lift this weight from my heart, and free me so I may feel Your unwavering love and support, for I trust in Your eternal mercy. Thank You, Lord. In Jesus’ Name, amen.  

How have you expressed yourself to God lately, and how has He comforted you? We’d love to be encouraged by your story. Please share in the comments below.